14th February 2006 -

Happy Valentines Day xxx
(I didn't intend on acknowledging this day, but it's all around me)

Did crap yesterday.

I feel addicted to food lately. It's a horrible situation to be in and I'm hating it quite a lot. It's a vicious circle.

I worry about my career prospects - the job I'm in is worthless and not going anywhere. I've learnt nothing new.

I had the first of two job interviews yesterday. It went OK. The job sounds fab, but I don't feel confident about getting it. My confidence is at a low in all aspects of my life.

I worry about money - I don't earn much and have £13,000 worth of student debt (I have two degrees and I'm in a job that insults my qualifications and work experience; the job isn't what they advertised) to pay off.

If I'm honest I'm a trifle lonely too.

I eat to comfort myself from it all. Yet I loathe the way I look and the way I feel. It's been ages since I went to the gym so I'm going to start going again as I think that makes me feel better about things.

Back on the wagon today, but I wonder for how long before the demons get to me.

Life is such a struggle. I feel I've been struggling for a very very long time.

May be bloody Valentines Day has affected me more than I wanted it to, ggrrrr.......!

Thanks for listening. As always comments/words of support and advise are welcome.

xxxxx