GOAL NUMBER: 1

I was so annoyed with my performance yesterday. I do not want people to look at me as though I'm a freak when I walk down the street or when I'm walking through the station on my way to work etc.
I tire of being hollared and abused at by total strangers in the street who think it's acceptable yet would find it unacceptable to be shouting racist words at someone.

I know it's their problem and not mine, but I want to mitigate feeling like a freak, feeling ugly and unattractive (why else have I been single for over 5 years?). I need to lose weight for my physical and mental well-being.

So I've decided to set goals and targets.

ULTIMATE GOAL = be 66kg (10st 6Ibs) by Thursday 14th December 2006 (48 weeks)

I'm not too sure how much i weigh because I've weighed myself on so many damned scales. So from no on I'm sticking with what my nurse's scales say.

My last weigh was 117kg. I know I've put on weight since then because I've been binge eating. Emotional issues namely friends pissing me off. Anyway I can't let them or my urges win.

I am a winner and I can beat the weight. I've been overweight since I was 3yrs old so I am determined to fight my demons, lose the weight and gain confidence.

My first goal - to weigh 99 kilograms by 23rd February 2006

In addition I've also decided to quit going to the gym and take up free exercise, so I'm more active in general rather than relying upon visits to the gym - which for me is an added expense I can ill afford.

Thanks for reading.