JANUARY 2006.

09:41 - I'm not hungry as yet. I've taken a few swigs of water and seem to be OK.

11:30 - Had a Mint Chocolate shake. Tasty, in fact I quite liked it. I tried the cappacino yesterday and thought it disgusting. I've had more water too. My Cambridge Counsellor suggested I have a shake sandwich i.e. water - shake - water. It seems to have worked because I'm not hungry and I have three more shakes to get through.

12:43 - Not hungry. Bizarre because when I've eaten a big bowl of cournflakes for breakfast I'm hungry by lunch. Anyway we'll see how we go, I'm taking one step at a time.

OK, so at lunch I had my butterscotch shake. All the fart-arsing around with mixing shakes is a bit of a bind, however if I keep my goal in sight I'll be ok.

I'm so ashamed of myself

When I got home last night and the feeling of light-headedness got the better of me in the end and I had two handfulls of blanched cashew nuts.

I was in a rush to get to the doctor to discuss the VLCD (Very Low Calorie Diet : Lighter Life AND Cambridge) and didn't want to make up my 3rd shake - how stupid of me! The doctor called in sick so my appointment was cancelled, much to my annoyance.

I had every intention to drink my shakes when I got home, but then saw a Philidelphia cheese advert (the one where they mix the pesto with the cheese and serve it with pasta) and thought "I just HAVE to try that, I'll start the diet tomorrow" ......

my dinner was nice, but I felt really guilty afterwards.

The more I use the "there's always tomorrow" excuse the closer I am to killing myself or at the least doing damage to my body.

Anyway I've decided to continue with the Cambridge since I don't need the doctors permission to undertake it unlike Lighter Life. Yesterday I took my cancelled appointment as a sign of me doing the CD over the LL diet - besides it's exactly the same, just less money (£42 in comparison to £42 per week) and the flavours are much better on Cambridge.

Much love all those reading. Cambridge here I come!!

Foxxy! (or will be)