Tuesday 12th December 2006

Went to Asda to but a wee cardigan for a Christmas do we're having. They didn't have any in my size so I became super frustrated angry and nearly started crying. All I saw were Size 8's - tht pushed my over the edge I kept thinking "which post pubescent woman is a size 8 anyway!!!!!" I was so angry that I ripped it while I was trawling throught the clithes rack and I didn't care. I was annoyed with Asda and the clothing industry, I was annoyed with myself for not havign cracked CD months ago so that I would be a normal size and wouldn't have to resort to going to Asda for a poxy cardigan. I was angry angry angry. I so want to look nie, but then started thinking that someone my size aint gonna look good anyway so what's the point in trying. I was angry because I've seen gorgeous dresses in River Island, Debenhams etc. that would have suited me to a 'T' instead as always in my life I'm having to 'make do' I don't wanna make do any more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I thought this will be the last year. Not one, not two, not three, but FOUR Asdas I went to and the story was the same throughout! I couldn't bring myself to drive to the other one, but had it in my head that I'd drive past the one in Long Eaton tomorrow morning - how desperate and frustrating. I still may.


I was so upset I drove to MacDonalds and binged, binged binged on 9 chicken nuggets (I didn't want anything carby). My binge occured between Asdas. It was my intention to buy another 20 and scoff them, so drove to Asda's via another MacDonalds. Alas I didn't buy another 20, the 9 started making me feel sick mentally and physically. I HATE MacDonalds - I don't go there.

I got home and checked my urine and it's still in the pink - thankfully. I've also downed 500ml of water in the vain hope that it may make a difference in cleansing and washing my system. I've also decided not to have any more soups or shakes for the day as I've done the dirty with the chicken nuggets.

Thus today:
3 litres of water
1 strawberry shake
1 Chicken and Mushroom shake with white pepper - yum although near the bottom of my mug it was like drinking sand - yuk, never had that before!
9 Chicken nuggets

Thanks for listening .........